|Series 04, episode 03|
|Date aired||27 April 2007|
Mark is thrilled to find out that Matt Townsend, one of the best personal trainers in London, has a slot available for him at the gym. Sophie supports Mark going to a gym since she wants him to be "fit in time for the wedding". Little does she know, Mark's main objective in going to the gym is spending less time with Sophie.
Matt proves to be a nice guy, but always pushes Mark very hard. After their workout, he suggests they take a shower together to clear the pores after the workout but Mark tells him he has a "special routine" for showers, since he doesn't want to share a shower with a man.
Later Mark notices Nancy, Jeremy's American wife (they were married for visa reasons only, although Jeremy never got over her) working at the gym. This was alluded to in the episode Wedding when Nancy leaves their wedding early for a health club interview. However, it turns out that before Nancy began working at the gym, she was assistant-managing an Imax in Bradford for a year and a half, and got addicted to crystal meth, but is no longer using.
Mark tells Jeremy about seeing Nancy after he finds Jeremy trying to blow up a mailbox since he regrets sending harassing mail to his ex-girlfriend Big Suze, who has recently left him for Mark's boss, Johnson. Jeremy is excited to see Nancy, seemingly forgetting about Big Suze, and asks Mark for a gym pass so he can come and see her.
When Jeremy arrives, Nancy is less than thrilled to see him, considering their relationship (but not their marriage) ended when he told her about him cheating on her with his next-door neighbor Toni. He tries to get Nancy interested in him again, but she refuses to speak to him. Jeremy decides his only option is to get a job at the gym. It is a very low job, where he will be cleaning toilets, which he claims in his interview, he finds "interesting". The interviewer suspects that Jeremy is writing a novel, due to his overqualification (he used to be a nurse), and is just getting the job for "field work", but Jeremy is so worried about being overqualified that he asks the interviewer, "What's a novel?"
When Nancy discovers that Jeremy is now working at the health club, she tells him that they might as well be friends, but they won't be romantic. Jeremy agrees to this, figuring they will eventually get back together if they become friends. She asks him to set her up with Matt, saying "I'd really love to bone him." Jeremy is reluctant to do this for her, but agrees. He eventually goes up to Matt and tells him that Nancy hates him, has seen him looking at her, and wants nothing to do with him. He then tells Nancy that Matt is only looking for a "f--- monkey" and that he isn't into anything serious. Nancy and Matt are both disappointed, and begin to avoid each other.
Nancy tries to set Jeremy up with her friend Eva, a Polish gym attendant. Jeremy isn't interested in Eva, so when the three of them are in the pool area, he goes into the sauna with Nancy after placing heavy weights on top of the relaxation chamber where Eva is, so that she can't get out. Jeremy tries to kiss Nancy, who appears to be interested in him again, but this is ruined when Eva presses the alert button to get out of the chamber.
Meanwhile, Mark lets it slip to Matt during his post-workout massage that he doesn't really love Sophie. When Sophie joins the gym, Mark worries that Matt will tell her about his feelings for her, or lack thereof. Jeremy has similar problems with Matt when he realizes that Nancy doesn't care about him "only wanting a f--- monkey". They decide to get Matt fired together by means of claiming that he poops in the pool. Jeremy poops in the pool so that the gym manager will believe them.
When they tell the gym manager that Matt "loves to poop in pools and does it all the time", the manager seems annoyed about it, but says he and Matt will work everything out. They decide that such an accusation won't actually get Matt fired, so Jeremy says that Matt touched Mark's penis while giving him a massage. Mark is mortified, and is then forced to tell this fake story with Matt in the room.
Later, Jeremy, Nancy, Mark and Sophie are kickboxing in the gym when Matt arrives, fired but still able to attend the gym, hoping to beat up Mark and Jeremy by means of kickboxing. Sophie and Nancy, unaware of the issues between Matt and the boys, encourage them to fight him, since it's all just for fun. Mark and Jeremy use their women as shields so that Matt won't hit them.